Main tenu fer milangi kithe? kis trah? pata nai – I will meet you again, where? How? I don’t know


It was 3:50 am in my digital table watch. Things were so spread all over in my room that even if somebody breaks-in; he has to actually search for hours and hours to steal the stuff. This is me, in my ragged knickers, sitting on my sofa-cum-bed-cum-carpet with a laptop on my lap. The irony is even after 36 hours of brain-fuck (yes, that’s the new word I have learnt), including 12 hours of detaining at the airport and 24 hours of travel (deportation to-be-specific) back to India, I was still restless and awake.

I think this is what exactly happens to you when you suddenly meet a person who is not a different person; but your alter ego. The one, who responds you in just one go; the one, whom you talk to the first time; still he makes you feel like, you have always been belonged to him. The one who reminds you of signals and symbols from every Paulo Coelho’s book; the, one who reminds you of Amrita-Imroz and their paintings & poems.

It was only two days, not even two days and he is all over me; from hell-head to toe. We haven’t met but feel like we have already spent a life-time together. It seems as if we belong to the same place or the same destination or at least we will meet somewhere before heading to our destinations. I know he is so-not-me, I am so-not-him. He is a nomad river and I am like a tranquil foothill. He wants to walk on the waters and I would like to wait for him on every shore. He wants to let his soul roam across the world and guess what; I dream of becoming his that-soul. He is those dry leaves of a tree which would like to be free and flowing with the air; and I am as stupid as that tree that would cry after every parting and again wait for the next spring to meet him.

I hate him because of his carelessness, his happiness, his ‘I don’t care; I don’t feel anything’ attitude; maybe because I always wanted to be like that but could never become. You know what it might sound crazy to you; but he is like one of those giant fast streams which is so fearless as if it knows it is going to swallow everything that comes its way. He is as raw and pure as nature and I guess that’s what charms everyone more-or-less like me. Life was simple before he happened to me and now nothing more is simple. He unhinged me, every emotion of my life, my priorities, and my dreams every-damn thing. He hasn’t any fear of losing anything as he has left everything behind; but I am yet to find the reason why? He is like the golden words of my favorite books or that fragrance of my old novels which let me freeze and make me alive in a single moment. He is like that fog on the rugged roads of my village which used to play hide and seek with me. I know the more I effort to get closer to that fog; the more it’s going to be away from me. I want to get lost in that fog but I know even losing myself will not be worth.

To love a person is easy but to love a soul is different. I haven’t seen him, felt him or touched him but it seems, he touched my soul somewhere. I am yet not sure if he even remembers my names’ initials or not. I don’t know what and how much he matters in my life but for sure he is one hell-of-a-person in my life that made me believe serendipity  possibilities, signs, symbols, or Brian Weiss which used to be the words of a different language of a different planet for me. I remember Punjabi poetess, Amrita Pritam used to describe her relationship with her lover Imroz, “Yeh mein hoon, Yeh tu hai, Aur beech mein hai Sapna.” I don’t know even if my love or whatever it is, so intense but that’s the same way I am feeling right now it’s absolutely me, him and this dream.

From the day he happened to me, whole world seems like a big signal to meet him. I remember apart from sun rays and cool breeze in last morning; there were so many signs floating in the air. Remember the saint smile of that hotel manager, that stranger baby girl who stopped and waved me good bye, the guy wearing that familiar blue jackets in the same shuttle to our plane. Everything seems to be a symbol, an omen –good, bad I hardly know. Sometimes you just get trapped in a long, dark tunnel and unable to see the bright rays of hope on the other side of the tunnel. For a different reason I am happening to see the other bright part only; no more darkness and I guess this hope will bring him to me and One day I will meet him, where how , I don’t know. I read this poem long back and liked it; that time I didn’t know the meaning but today every word seem to explain ‘ME’ –

Main tenu fer milangi

kithe? kis trah? pata nai

shayad tere takhiyl di chinag banke

teri canvas te utrangi

ya khore teri canvas dey utte

ik rahasmayi lakir banke

kamosh tenu takdi rawangi

Jaa khore suraj ki loo banke

tere ranga vich ghulangi

jaa ranga diyan bahwa vich beth ke

teri canvas nu wlangi

pata nai kiss trah-kithe

par tenu jrur milangi.

Jaa khore ik chashma bani howangi

te jiven jharneya da paani udd da

main pani diyan bunda

tere pinde te malangi

te ik thandak jahi banke

teri chaati de naal lagangi

main hor kujh nai jaandi

par ena jaandi

ki waqt jo v karega

ae janam mere naal turega

Ae jism mukkda hai

tan sab kujh mukk janda

par cheteyan dey dhaage

kaayenaati kana dey hunde

main uhna kana nu chunagi

dhageyan nu walangi

Te tenu main Fer milangi…

                                                                                                           –         Amrita Pritam

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37 thoughts on “Main tenu fer milangi kithe? kis trah? pata nai – I will meet you again, where? How? I don’t know

  1. I can’t read the poem but everything you wrote – I remember when that happened to me and I think you’ve written quite possibly the most accurate description I’ve ever read. Such beautiful words.

    • hey mistylayne…I am so glad you liked it…i know its my fault i should have translated the poem so here is the translation….

      I will meet you yet again
      How and where? I know not.
      Perhaps I will become a
      figment of your imagination
      and maybe, spreading myself
      in a mysterious line
      on your canvas,
      I will keep gazing at you.

      Perhaps I will become a ray
      of sunshine, to be
      embraced by your colours.
      I will paint myself on your canvas
      I know not how and where –
      but I will meet you for sure.

      Maybe I will turn into a spring,
      and rub the foaming
      drops of water on your body,
      and rest my coolness on
      your burning chest.
      I know nothing else
      but that this life
      will walk along with me.

      When the body perishes,
      all perishes;
      but the threads of memory
      are woven with enduring specks.
      I will pick these particles,
      weave the threads,
      and I will meet you yet again.
      Source:http://anilvohra.wordpress.com

  2. This is one of my favourite things I have read all year! I was dumped a few days ago by the loveliest guy and this has helped me understand that it is okay because he was not meant for me… THIS is what I want!!

    • Yes Daniela… I liked Paulo Coelho and the phrase you just mentioned is one of my most favorite ones…. thank you for your kind words…

  3. An extremely lovely post….I loved each word of it…totally!
    You have expressed your feelings so beautifully….I am just spellbound!
    A big wow…and yes you will meet him again surely. 🙂

    P.S. : I am huge fan of Amrita Pritam…So thanks for posting this wonderful creation!
    Nominating you for the Kreative Blogger Award. Please pick up your award at http://lopascribes.wordpress.com/2012/08/15/once-upon-a-time-i-won-the-kreative-blogger-award-thanks-to-my-dear-ela/
    I will be honoured if you accept it. Congratulations! You have a fabulous blog…and you write straight from the heart, and that’s why all your writings are so creative. Keep going!

  4. I re-read your words, princess, and it seems that you are madly in love with Paulo Coelho’s free spirit which is explained by Amrita’s poems in words you can understand. These writers are super nova’s which you are rotating as a aspiring young planet. Be careful not to burn yourself up. Your spirit is no less than theirs and only needs to grow and mature on it’s own pace. I’m sure your time will come too. Love to you, GP (Your devoted admirer) 🙂

    • hey GP thank you for your kind words… I always wait for your feedback and guess what, it always fills me with more courage every time and i feel like writing about the things I am scared about… and yes I am madly in love with Paulo Coelho & his free spirit after visiting Brazil this year… this is very stupid of me but I truly believe that he has spread all these signals in that country’s air and anyone can go and pick their own there… I aways enjoy your work though sometimes I feel I am not mature really understand your poems but whatever i read or grasp; believe me its heaven.. thank you once again…

  5. I thought the best part of this post would be the pic of great Amrita Pritam…then I thought her words were the best…then after reading the post I felt that the essence of this post were your emotions and the ease with which you could translate your feeling through some great words….
    …for your perusal…by the great lady.

    kalam ne aj torayaa giitaan daa kaafiyaa
    ishq meraa pahuchiyaa eh kere mukaam te
    uth apne ghare chon paanii daa kaul de
    dho lavaangii baih ke raahnvaa de haadse

    …i know…tadey lai translate karan di koi load ni hagi hai !

  6. ” Aj aakhan Waris shah noo kiton……”!!

    Amrita Pritam…a genuinly liberated soul and a woman of substance and stance. Recently I came across a very fascinating story about her ( as told by Javed Akhtar):-.
    One day Amrita’s son complained to her that people tease him that he was Sahir Ludhianvi’s (Amrita’s ex lover, whom she did not marry) illegitimate son. And she replied:
    ” No that is not correct but I wish it were true” !

  7. I totally adore Amrita Pritam’s works! I have this same poem on my blog and a write up on her!
    try to listen to Gulzar reciting this poem in Punjabi – beautiful ! then, again, I also love Gulzar sahab’s voice !
    Thank you for sharing, Pooja ! cheers.

    • really ! i will check That ..if you love Amrita Pritam, you will also love Shiv Kumar Batalvi…my recent crush and have you heard Surinder Kaur’s songs written by Amrita and Batalvi… do listen

      • Haan ji ! Are you my twin? Yeh baat hai yaara! I also love Shiv Kumar Batalvi, and, indeed, I have heard Surinder many times !

  8. I have tears in my eyes after reading your post. I love Amrita, I love Imroz and now I love you too. I met Imrozji 2 years before. He made a beautiful skatch for me on my notebook. I feel the true love. May GOD bless us and we will reach to our Imroz.

    • Hey Varsha..that’s quite a compliment…and you met Imroz?? wow!! that must be like a lifetime experience..it’s my dream to meet HIM…I tried meeting him a few months back when I went to their Green Park house but i guess now it’s been owned by someone else ..Its very hard to find any Imroz in these days…God had stopped making them…i don’t think so anyone can be so selfless in love like HIM..he is the one and Amrita was the one….anyways thank you Varsha…stay blessed..Love…

      • Yes dear, it was really like a lifetime experience. It was my birthday when we met for 2 hours at Bombay. Most Valuable gift given by God to me on my birthday. He gave me new life. He is so simple and loveble person, just like a shadow of God. He lives in Greater Kailash area, New Delhi but always visits to Punjab-Amritsar or Chandigad. One thing is sure, if you want to meet him, he will meet you without any ego. You can meet Amritaji while meeting him. He send me their photographs also which are so sweet. Best Luck to fulfill your dream. In the next month, there is his birthday i.e. on 26th Jan.

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