‘Thapaad Kha Roti Pakka – So what if your husband beats you’


This is not what a husband in the interiors of Punjab or Haryana is saying to his wife but this is what, these days our almighty high court judges are telling to every Indian woman in the name of keeping a family together and bright future of the kids. When one of my domestically violated friend told me that a judge told her to compromise and adjust with her husband’s mood swings (which eventually turn into brutal beatings almost every weekend) to keep her marriage alive, I thought there is something wrong with this judge’s grey matter or maybe he doesn’t have it for that matter.

But, hey I was wrong, this isn’t her case only; all our legal gods seem to have lost their marbles. This morning, when I started leafing through the last few days’ newspapers, (Yes, I read newspapers for a week in one day; have you got a problem with that.) there is this one case came up. During one of the domestic violence case hearing, some Bhaktavatsala, a high court judge from Karnatka, said these wonderful words to the victim lady, “Women suffer in all marriages.  You are married with two children, and know what it means to suffer as a woman. Yesterday, there was a techie couple who, reconciled for the sake of their child. Your husband is doing good business; he will take care of you. Why are you still talking about his beatings?”

Please somebody pinch me and say I was reading these lines in one of my dreams. How can a high court judge tell a victim to accept her husbands’ beatings just because she is a woman and what the hell means, “Woman suffers in all marriages.” Above all he is not advising the woman to be financially independent but saying that she should be beaten every day because “her husband is doing good business.”

I really pity this judge’s law school which taught him only Tulsidas saying, “Dhol Gawanr Shudra Pashu Nari, Sakal Tadan ke Adhikari” means ‘DHOL,( Drum) SHUDRA(Of or belonging to lower caste),PASHU(Animal),NARI(women) are to be beaten brutally and  to be kept as dust below the feet”. Plus I really pity his chauvinistic mentality and statements which can impact thousands of domestic violence cases in Indian courts.

I really don’t know how system, law and our so called opinionates are going to react on his statement or if they are going to ignore it. For me and for any sensible human being, verbal or physical- any kind of violence is unacceptable even if it is in a relationship. Even if your husband is a multi-millionaire or a road laborer, he cannot beat you to release out his frustration from work from where he is paying your bills. After this statement, what this judge expects that all women should have a sigh of relief and say, “Thank God! Beating wives is not a constitutional right for every man in our country.”

I am not saying that every household dispute has divorce as a climax but accepting somebody’s violence just to pacify everything is not adequate. There are so many problems when two people decide to live together. Sometimes your spouse is driving you crazy with his or her nagging habits but mind it that happens with both HIM & HER. Just because you are a man & stronger than your counterpart – nobody has given you this right of releasing your hormonal frustration on a woman. Woman is no-fucking piece of a born-punching bag for you people and your god-damn frustration. So For Mr. Bhaktavatsala and People like him, I don’t care if you are born from a woman’s womb or some dropped down shit of a flying bird known as ‘Male Chauvinism’ but mind it and be careful when you are advising a woman, while sitting in a Judge’s chair or sitting next to your wife or daughter at your home.

‘Thapaad Kha Roti Pakka’ is history baby!!!! 

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34 thoughts on “‘Thapaad Kha Roti Pakka – So what if your husband beats you’

    • It is…this is not the only case in his pocket.. He has been making these remarks several times in courts… sometimes telling an unmarried lawyer to get married as according to him,” she is not capable of handling divorce cases as she is unmarried.” AMAZING MAN!!

  1. As per Vedic scriptures (what I have read and understood)- none in this world is superior or inferior in any sense…even a small mouse, a dog, an elephant and a high status human: they all lie in the same category…but humans do have a special capability which other organisms on this planet do not have…it is called ‘intellect’…maybe that is something that we don’t possess any longer…this is the reason why we keep discriminating (and for that we keep on creating the types and classes of discrimination)…Domestic violence against women is one of the most concerning and worrisome issue in the world…In India it has an alarming rate which is shameful…not even the daughters but even the mothers and sisters are the sufferers…I am a man and I have always believed that women are a special race than men…they are good administrators and they know how to love and educate…I remember my history teacher telling me that the archaeological trends of Indus Valley Civilization depicts that women were the real decision makers in the family…its a pity that our ancestors were so rich in their values and knowledge and today we stand nowhere…shame on those people who mark the fairer sex as the inferior one…it is not!

    Kudos for this one Pooja! you have written it elegantly 🙂

  2. Well done, Pooja!
    I was aghast when I read the newspaper and believe me I felt like punching the judge. Has he bloody gone crazy? Such a shame. I mean I have no words to express how obnoxiously rotten is that man’s brain.
    I support this post from the bottom of my heart not because I am girl, and I empathize with the issue; I support it because I am a human being lest some psychotic man thinks women are punching bags and it’s okay to be beaten up because you can live at the petty money he earns! Absolute nonsense.
    Hey Pooja, because I adore you so much for speaking out your mind, I feel you truly deserve the Sunshine Award. Believe me I am elated to nominate you. Please collect your award at http://lopascribes.wordpress.com/2012/09/07/the-sunshine-award/
    I will be delighted if you accept it.
    Love and Hugs 🙂

  3. I can share your sentiments word by word here. My father taught me to be strong and considered me no no less than any of the male species and here on the other hand, in 21st century India, judges are pronouncing these completely insane decisions. Like you said in an earlier article, “tell your sons how to behave”, I believe its us who can bring in the change.

    • Hey Preeti!! god knows where these people keep their brains before giving statements like these on such platforms… no body is inferior or superior than another gender and we are human being first so for that matter no human has right to abuse any person verbally or physically!!!

  4. Many of these judges are out of touch with reality.l have written more than one post about women’s violated rights.The situation is the same all over the Middle-East.Women are considered as 2nd.Class citizen.Women need a strong unity to defend their rights.Excellent post.Jalal

  5. It is such an outrage, I’m glad you tell it how it is, most people just brush matters like this under the carpet. I feel so much for women trapped physically and emotionally by brutal, sadistic men. Women are worth so much more that just being there to have children!

  6. what does the press say about it? is it just this particular judge or it`s the norm in the legal system? has anybody complained to a higher court?
    This shouldn`t be happening, it`s outrageous!

  7. Thank you for writing about this very sensitive issue. No human has the right to abuse another human, be they male or female but to say it’s OK to beat a wife, by a Judge in open court, is a travesty of justice. Thank goodness he has been removed from the family court, how perhaps justice can really be done.

  8. Domestic violence is not something a matter in rural or backward setups but is practice found in the most educated and sophisticated societies also…..and the credit goes to alll those parents guides philosophers mentors and officials who advise their daughters, friends or girls around them to suffer only because they are women and women are supposed to suffer in any stage……….in childhood(usually to please their younger brothers or to neutralize the frustration of their frustrating mothers………and so on……) ,,,,in marriage to justify their husbands’ male ego, agony ,mood swings and so called possessiveness……
    It’s now time to tell our daughters that it’s enough now……..tell them to be special….make them feel confident in every way so that they dont suffer the humiliation in form of domestic violence only because they are not sure what will happen to them and their kids if their marriage is not successful…………marriage is a part of life and life should not be made hell on the name of it………marriage is a union of souls not a rain of tears only……..and if it is then get rid of it ……………
    It’s never late…..Make your daughters feel that their physical and mental well being matters to you the most not your social reputation ………..
    It’ an advice by me to all the responsible citizens of my country and also across the globe that FIRST LOVE YOUR FAMILY TRULY ..EVERY THING WILL BE FINE………

  9. Beating up wives should be made illegal. No man has that right. If he beats her to relieve his frustration, then she should beat him twice because she works with little break day n night to take care of not only the kids but also for him because she cooks and cleans for the ungrateful idiot.
    As for the Judge I think he does not know the sufferings of the women from their abusive husbands. He should not be a judge as he seems inexperienced and corrupted.

  10. Beating up wives should be made illegal. No man has that right. If he beats her to relieve his frustration, then she should beat him twice because she works with little break day n night to take care of not only the kids but also for him because she cooks and cleans for the ungrateful idiot.
    As for the Judge, he does not know the sufferings of the women by their abusive husbands. He seems like corrupted and inexperienced guy to me.

  11. very well written… it is the story of many families. So many things remain behind closed doors… Hardly few manage to go out or go to courts.. and look at the way these so called educated judges deal with it! what a shame. They label women who decline to surrender to age old rules and torture as feminist, rebel and what not. As if women have no right to live a life of their own.

    • Shovnoc, had I been married to him, I would have beaten him up to death and then requested him politely to adjust with me because I am beautiful…. as he had asked the lady to adjust with her husband because the husband is rich…. Wow…

  12. Love the heading and a brilliant post.. It is frustrating to see such crazy people who are educated, but still act like idiots. It is such a shame to have such people make decisions for others. I have been reading posts on this issue and somehow my anger does not seem to have subsided one bit. These people should be taught to first respect.

  13. What a way to end it.. still, the malicious pratha remains. Men want to control women because they are like that – aurat toh dhool hai..
    Such judges should be banned from the profession. Sadly, we don;t have a governing body that can govern these people who are wielding their own power of governance in all the wrong ways.
    The problem is, such men think ki aurat se shadi karke ehsaan kar rahe hain, they are doing a big favour by taking on a wife (I dont say, marrying here – they “take on” wives) so that on the pretext of having to provide for them, in return they can use power over them and stroke their male ego. Such men deserve only to be beaten up in public.

  14. all our legal gods seem to have lost their marbles!!!! dats the exact feel I felt when the so called Judge of the high court gave that shitty advice!
    I wish all women get this ‘it’s not so common anymore, beware’ attitude!

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