Don’t tell your daughters not to go alone; tell your sons how to behave


” Nazar Teri Buri Aur Parda Mein Karoon?’ ‘Don’t tell me how to dress, tell them not to rape,

No, you can’t go alone there; No, you can’t wear that; no you can’t opt that job; why? ‘Because you are a girl.’ And being a girl is a crime you never chose to do. These are some of the things my parents and your parents, in the name of our safety, have been telling us since we were born. Why a girl has so many restrictions? Not, because girls can do anything wrong; if we were given liberty. The reason is because some bloody, gibberish, SONS of DOGS who cannot control their sexual urge; can rape her. The irony is , these dogs are never taught at home; how to behave with girls but  girls,  are always taught how to dress up so that we can escape from the greedy glance of these dogs, how to ignore these dogs.

If a girl is raped on a street late at night; the first thing people ask why she was there on the street so late. Why she was alone? What she was doing? What she was wearing? What was her occupation? Nobody asks who the hell was that bastard who did this to her. Even if she was a prostitute; who gave right to these mother f***ers to do anything to her. Even she was wearing revealing clothes and their god-damn sexual urge is so damn aroused, I think, I have no shame in telling that without anybody’s help they can calm it down with their own hands in any public toilet. So, who gave this right to men to take any open-minded girl as a f***ing piece of their inherited property that they can do anything with her.

I don’t get this mentality. Obviously Man and woman are created by God with different bodies but who said which body part to be revealed or which is not to be. Its only skin we have; nothing else. If men are blaming us for wearing shorts, showing cleavages and bra strap as a reason of rapes ; Can’t we blame them for wearing shorts (again), those deep neck t-shirts showing chest hair and those low waist jeans where their Jockey’s line is yelling to come out, for the same reason.

But it’s not about we, young people, it started long back when we entered 13 and our brothers entered 13. Nobody told them they are grownups; but every scary glance on our body reminded us that we are grownups. Moms told us not to wear body hugged tops, not to go alone anywhere, not to play much with boys of our class. They never told their son not to look at girls as if they were nude, not to eve-tease, Not to RAPE. Parents tell girls n number of things before they leave house to be safe. They never told their sons how to make their fellow girls friends feel safe.

If girls were given insecurity by saying they are not safe; mind it; but they are never going to be safe for their whole life.  Instead give them confidence to leave the house alone and kicking in between the legs of any strangers who tries to take advantage in any sense. Ok, I agree, parents can tell their girls to be safe which is actually required in this god-damn society full of bastards but at the same time they should teach their sons not to become one of those bastards.

If you want to tell your daughters something; tell them to be bold. If you want to teach something to your daughters; teach them how to become a pain for all those bastards out there. If you want to give something to your daughters; give them a faith that whatever happens you will always stand by them supporting them. At the same time don’t forget to tell your sons ;how to be a gentleman to every woman he meets every day. If you want to teach them something; teach them how to respect woman. And if you want to give something to them; give them a faith that you know whatever happens they will not be a shame for the society they live in.

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81 thoughts on “Don’t tell your daughters not to go alone; tell your sons how to behave

  1. Great post!!! We need to start raising men who are social aware and intelligent and have exceptional moral values…yes they are men and strong but must be raised to be kind, conscious and just respectful…of themselves and others.

  2. You have that strong voice to make others aware. A great post, Indeed.
    The stereotypical attitude of labeling things have brought many shameful occasions. Mostly, the judgmental eye lacks the vision to see what their heart really feels. Coward they are; confirming to wrongdoers, destroying the essence of humanity. Where are we heading to ?

  3. With you all the way.Why purdah for women instead of blinkers for men?
    Also my 2 paisa worth:sex crimes are crimes of passion all right but the passion often is anger not lust,A way to keep women in their place,

  4. Very well said. What I’ve learned from my experience is that, it doesn’t matter what you wear or how late it is because when a man have this urge, this evil intention, nothing’s gonna stop him from doing what he wants. It’s up to us, women, to learn how we can protect ourselves.

    • that’s true we, women need to learn how to protect ourselves from the bastards in our society; at the same side, all men should be learnt not to be a bastard for the society!!!

      • it IS a great post…unfortunately our education system has failed to upbring better citizens…education system has in fact collapsed in the country and what’s even more unfortunate is the society standards have also degraded…we as society have failed

  5. Accidently i stumble upon-ed on this wordpress blog with a funny name http://parasharstales.wordpress.com/ (although it’s bit catchy), before I started applying my mind to understand the logic behind this name, I saw this picture with a known smile. The name was inspired by her sir name. Since the blogger was a old friend I started reading it with a tangent of curiosity. The look and feel of this blog is just like any other simple wordpress blog however its unique ingredients like uncontaminated original thoughs (without the pesticide named netoxygen) spiced up with mesmerizing words that are very rare in this fake world (as well as blogosphere) made me to fall in love with this blog just like frog’s love first rain of monsoon.

    The writing is addictive enough to give you hangover that you have after 3 * 650ml Carlsberg. Well in case just like me you hate beer this blog also offers you virgin mojito and a brazilian cocktail named Caipirinha with a free drive on highway of nostalgia that would take you back to viceroy lodge in the lap of gorgeous himalyas in the paradise city named shimla or a international trip to Brazil. You could board both of these journey’s from Red Fort delhi (5 o’ Clock sharp). This journey is highly recommend to amateur photographers as they could learn how to take great snaps with a 2 mega pixel camera, others not interested in photography could create a list of 50 things they love…..

      • Believe me dear whenever I get to hear or know about such macabre things happening, like crime against women then I am ashamed of being born as a man…Men are physically tougher than women but then they forget that it was only a woman who carried that toughness with her and let them see this beautiful world…with deeds like this men sure look as if they are demons from hell… 😦

  6. I love a strong woman. You appear to have great parents. I wish the world over, for every boy, parents like yours, then we will only have brave respectful men and women with an indomitable spirit like yours.

  7. Ouch!!!! that post was right in the gut, Well no, indeed the point that you raised should be brought out in such a way that it should hit hard, then only there shall be an impact. Our society consists of people who would prefer remaining silent when needed. They need to be punched hard to wake them up from their sleep, such powerful posts may offer some hope and do whats necessary!

  8. Makes sense. Logically argued. The naysayers will offer many reasons for why it is the way it is. We need to at least do what we need to do to contribute. And the least we can all do is to bring up our children in the right way. And that includes leading by example. Fighting for our rights if need be.

    • thank you so much sir, I know i have used some unacceptable words in my post, but I am still an amateur writer and don’t know how to put my anger in acceptable language. anyway thanks for stopping by…

      • Even your response has unacceptable words like “sir”. The www and wordpress provide us a democratic platform to air our views. Some may like them and some may not. To hell with those that don’t…

  9. that’s funny!!! I will keep that thing in mind and yes to hell with those who don’t like… thanks once again…

  10. girls just found a new banner to show off their assets : Don’t teach us how to wear dresses.. teach your sons not to rape..
    are you fu**ing kiddin me ?? do you really think that those who listen to their moms would ever rape ??

    are adhi raat ko to hm bhi safe nahi hote….to tumhe kyu adhi rat ko adhe kapdo mein ghumna hai ???
    YOU DON’T NEED SAFEGUARD FROM THOSE WHO LISTEN TO THEIR PARENTS…
    gimme a f***ing explanation – WHY THE F**K YOU PUT LOCKS ON THE DOORS ?? why don’t YOU DO THE SAME WITH THEM – DON’T STEAL….PLEASE LET US LEAVE OUR HOUSES OPEN WHEN WE GO OUT ???

    • You seem to be a frustrated Man, my dear friend.. you missed the crux and got struck to one line only… the only point, i wanted to raise in this post was a demand of social change when parents start raising their sons and daughters with a single mindset… when girls are not supposed to do or behave particularly just because they are girls… aur mujhe please yeh jarur btana ki aadhi raat kb hoti hai; aur adha kapda kahan tak hota hai tumhare desh mein !! n please assure me, if I am wrapping myself from head to toe; a man will never have wrong intentions for me… anyways thanks for your precious time on my space!!!

      • IDK how you define ‘FRUSTRATION’, but what I know of it, I am not… anyways… what you said is indeed correct, covering oneself from head to toe will not stop such activities. Believe me or not, even I’m afraid to go out during silent nights whatever be the reason. Even the boys are raped if you read the social media..
        P.S. not talking about newspapers and TV channels.

        I don’t need to specify what type of clothes I’m talking about. This is just a PREVENTIVE MEASURE…not the remedy please.
        The Social Change you are talking about is correct – but Ma’am, with all due to respect, lemme tell you, the Men who ever listened to good teachings (in your words – THE MOMs) would never do such kinda acts….the point is – revealing clothes and exhibitionism provokes such men who have no moral values…it is for them I said “the Preventive” measures are needed and not for the people who know what a family is.
        I hope you know, the main accuse in the DGRC had ran away from his home and had been NOT AT ALL A GOOD child… do you really think his mother could have done something ??
        but I think the fear of LAW would have definitely.

        MoreOVER – you guys want Death Sentences for the accused… I don’t…you know why?? because I want them to feel the same pain that poor girl felt – I want them to be tattooed with “I AM RAPIST” on their forehead – I want the same Goddamn rod to be shoved up their A**SES…there numerous Homos roaming around – let them f**k those monsters…
        Thank You for sparing your time to read this.

        • these are only views; mine >< yours…you support this punishment; a lot of people support capital punishment .. & they too have their reasons like you… you said that covering oneself is a preventive measure for men who can not be taught by their mothers at home…this is just your one statement but have you ever thought when the young people of our country give such kinda statements; what kind of impact is there on our society..because when you say something like this; it changes the focus- the focus of society – from punishing the culprits to taking preventive measures….these men take liberal women granted for misbehavior…they blame girls for everything bad happens to them and we again MISS the so called point!!! AND what you think, we don't take preventive measures but for how long and up to what extent ..I just want to ask all who have the similar views like yours that Please Give me a definition and I am ready to take whatever preventive measures you re talking about…

          Thank you- Glad you replied!!

      • Thank You for understanding me,,,somewhat… as for the EXTENT you talk about – here are some THOUGH BEING A MALE I take for myself:
        I don’t use ATMs late night.
        I don’t drink at all so ain’t a question of time and place
        I don’t go out in Taxis and Autos late nights until and unless it’s very urgent (usually in case when I travel unknown cities) and then too I call the Dial-a-Cab from a reputed company.
        I, once went to Delhi, and believe it or not, I had my GPS Navigation turned ON all the time while I was in the Taxi AT 2 PM…so that I could know where I’m being taken.

        Ma’am, I’m pursuing Master in Technology, and I have friends who are girls, and they always say what you say… I don’t know how you’re gonna take this, I show them when they walk with me how girls copy the Bollywood and Hollywood fashion seriously ignoring the fact that the SCENES that show WARDROBE MALFUNCTION are edited from the movies.
        Is it really that difficult for girls NOT TO SHOW OFF THEIR ASSETS ??
        I’ve seen girls walking along side roads with Alcohol Bottles in their hands…I know you have the rights to do that… BUT WHAT TO DO WITH THE PEOPLE WHO DON’T UNDERSTAND THIS ?? Can’t we follow some Preventive Measures ???
        May I ask you one question?? If yes please answer me – why do we lock our houses when we go out and why don’t we protest against the thieves ??? JUST A PREVENTIVE MEASURE I guess…because one CANNOT Guarantee that they will NOT BE ROBBED when they have locked their houses.

        • I don’t know how many female friends you have and what they are telling you about the preventive measures we are taking…I have never seen girls with alcohol bottles in their hands and mindlessly imitating Bollywood or Hollywood on the roads of Delhi but even if they do, that goes for guys and girls both.. AND No, its not at all difficult for girls not to show off their assets but this is my viewpoint ; showing off one’s skin is again an individual’s choice and we are nobody to tell them what to wear… but I am really unable to understand that Is 09:30 midnight for you or you are so sure that DGRC victim was showing off her assets, or maybe getting on city’s buses is what provoked rapists..See pal, you would have hundred of reason to prove us wrong but i think this is no revolutionary thought that being conservative would do the purpose..there is no excuse for raping a woman or a man (as you said earlier) and then smashing them almost to death. yours are not plausible explanations… and yes, your question to me..why we lock our house?..so my dear friend, locks are also broken and most of the thefts are after breaking the locks but yes, having a blood-mouthed dog (death penalty or more serious punishment) outside your house can do purpose up to an extent….

          P.S: Girls & Guys both are raped (Courtesy You, telling me that guys also get raped), they do take preventive measures but not every Rape Victim is showing off their assets or drinking alcohol on roads. I shall again tell you.”People like you are just trying to shift the focus of society.”

      • no wonder you haven’t understood the difference between PREVENTION and CURE… I never said NOT SHOWING would do… by alcohol bottles I meant buying from liquor shops ( I’m correcting myself) some photos you can easily find on internet…
        And – having a blood-mouthed dog (death penalty or more serious punishment) outside your house can do purpose up – when did I negate this thing ?? ofcrs I’m IN FAVOR of iT..but in a more brutal way as I’ve already mentioned.
        I mark my comments Not in Lieu of the Delhi Incident…your post is from 20th Jul, so even you never posted this in context of Delhi incident…moreover Ma’am, I AM NOT DIVERTING THE FOCUS… I AM JUST ADDING A PREVENTIVE MEASURE APART FROM THE CURE (the locks as preventive measure and the DOG as cure – by your instance)…
        As for “that goes for guys and girls both”…yes indeed…India is by far a democratic country…you’ve got the same rights as I have…but due to some unsocial elements, we have to do somethings PREVENTIVE AS WELL AS CURATIVE…

        I read a quote – Even if a woman is going nude on the road, you still don’t have the right to rape her – I follow it ma’am…I know it mam…BUT NOT EVERY INDIVIDUAL MALE…

        I will direct your attention to the statistics in number of Rapes in US (more than 88K) and India (22K)… so DECENCY does play a role in this… because Indians girls are far more decent in appearances than US’…

        I conclude –
        1. Female has every right as a Male, no matter what
        2. Those who did all that to the girl have no right to live whatsoever.
        3. I’m in favor of the most brutal punishments which I can’t even speak of in public
        4. NO MOTHER teaches her son to RAPE…so I don’t find how they’re gonna teach us NOT TO RAPE…

        Please … I have capitalized some words because I’ve emphasized them…

      • i guess you had concluded the conversation….one more thing, I am not agreed to what you said but its doesn’t mean you are a wrong or right per son..everyone has their perception and everyone is free to express… I have learnt this recently..so chill and enjoy your life…

      • ok… i don’t care what India thinks about me…all I know is I would still AVOID running through lonely streets carrying highly valuables (for a boy – money, and for a girl – her body)… specially on nights… because We, the people of India, are in a habit of overlooking things when they aren’t our ways… Good Luck with your approach…

  11. i agreee me n my father had dis heatd discussn we were watchng news n he said…the rapist shal b punishd by the law bt it is the mistake of d grl as well who went out so late nyt n exposed hr self to sch crime..grl shud nt wear revealing lothes…n i said y is everyone aftr blaming d victm n not d criminal??..i askd hm dt will u gv d permission to ur son to rape grl who is wearin revealing clothes

    • first of all dear, if it is so unfortunate; you should not have landed here again. And what should I say about this? Do you mean the girl should have taken precautions and that might have stopped this heinous crime? You know something, for some people in our society, the first and only precaution a girl should have is that her mother should not bring her to this earth.. I am again telling you talking about precaution is nothing but Balderdash… nothing is going to change our society without cure and preferably a surgery to remove this cancer from society’s womb.. the cancer known as objectification of women, patriarchy and misogyny… You might be again feeling unfortunate but read this; i have prescribed few medications here…http://parasharstales.wordpress.com/2013/01/02/no-i-would-not-rest-in-peace/

      • kudos to your perceiving power… I told you all this, because a GIRL cannot trust anyone… that’s it… you know what I think, you are a girl betrayed by some boy and now you are one of those girls who hymn these four words…ALL BOYS ARE SAME…
        anyways…to be honest Ma’am, I want to tell is that THIS is a profound problem and getting rid of it isn’t a piece of cake…what happened to the Delhi case… it’s all over, people have sit silent, at least most of em… changes need time and till then, we have to take measures that one may think of deprivation of freedom…but we have to….
        EOD
        however, I still wonder, you stereotyped all boys and asked their parents to teach them not to rape..I wonder what you gonna title your next blog post – TELL YOUR GRANDMOTHERS not to indulge in rapes ??
        ITS THE MIND SET, and EXPOSURE/EXHIBITIONISM does play a role in that…I hope every girl understands…

  12. Ha ha ha.. I salute your imagination…i needn’t to tell you what kind of woman I am!!! i just know and I believe that I belong to old school of feminism, same powers, same rights and same duties to both girl and boys…You keep on rhyming precaution prayer and let’s wait for the India when you would not be able to differentiate between New Delhi and SWAT valley and one day, parents will stop sending their girls to school, colleges and jobs in the name of precautions… so one advice you, ‘ go and have a glass of cold water’ and FYI my recent post, u missed the link in my previous comment…

    • bravo….I don’t need a shiti advice from u…especially from you who has no idea of PRACTICAL life… and still running hers on Theories… if you cannot wait, why are you boasting on blogs, go ahead and make a decision on the Delhi’s case… ohh..guess what…I think you have to WAIT… LOL… damn you’re one hell of a woman… 😀
      i just wonder how the hell you convinced yourself that I will read your any other meaning less post… though you were absolutely correct as many instances…but your intentions weren’t to be specific..
      anyways…Good luck with that… and TBH…i have negated your this post’s TITLE whatsoever… by the link I sent you…no matter what..
      Great life…

      • Thanks for your wonderful comments on my blog!!! you are absolutely right, I am one hell-of-a-woman and i would like to be the same through out my life…you are most welcome to comment on my writings but if you don’t want to read any of my meaningless rant, nobody is forcing you to google my blog or add it to your favorites… 🙂

        Anyways Stay Blessed and have a wonderful life!!!

  13. This is true for many cirucumstances. For example as well:
    Don’t tell cyclists not to use the road – tell car drivers to behave!

    Although you might not think as positively about cyclists as about women and you are probably a car driver – think about it and you see there is a broader truth in it. As a society we try to “protect” people by restricting them rather than restricting those who endager them.

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