Category: The Bucolic Diary of a City Girl

  • Tasting the leftover dreams

    Have you ever dreamt someone else’ dreams? Not having someone in your dreams but to have his or her dreams. To think like the person, to desire what he desires, to dream what he dreams. I have done that and have been doing for past how many years I have no idea. Every night, tasting…

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  • Becoming the one

    Tonight was a dark, gloomy, cold pahadi night like all those nights which were part of her special childhood. She always waited for this night and finally it came after 10 or 15 years. When She could breath and hear herself breath in flesh and bones. What happened in all these years? Why she took…

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  • To be alone or to lose yourself

    Were you always scared to be alone, to live alone or to die alone, Not having anyone to share a beer on a Sunday afternoon, or to chill your wine on a Friday night. So all these compromises were out of this fear, the job you took, the man you married, the children you birthed and the life you lived. All because…

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  • White Blood

    Veins carrying vodka to the heart, Or maybe my blood has lost its romantic color, And now its white, White as angels or white as if someone died. Who can tell if I am carrying the burden of a colorless heart Or poor swollen heart carrying my dead soul, See that’s the thing with life,…

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  • Chapter 1 – ‘I’ arrived

    A pregnant moon full of light in its womb was celebrating my arrival. Six young boys from my would-be village were carrying me in a wedding wooden wagon. All I could smell is sweating masculinity in the month of July in Himachal. I could see a dark brawny arm holding my wagon from in between,…

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  • they know how I feel

    Rain drops dancing on my roof, they know how I feel, wild wind imitating ricochet, they know how I feel, Dry leaves kissing the drenched soil, They know how I feel, lost in this gigantic city, and a black moon hanging on my white drape, they know how I feel.

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  • a broken cigarette

    Lust took over at the midnight, hunted desks, sooty shelves, old jeans pockets, here I saw you, broken with bleeding neck, held your neck gently, our lips met, the long kiss burnt my mouth, and I consumed you until you dry, I did it and did it well, smoked a broken cigarette.

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  • million little things

    Things changed between You and me.. Earlier it was love, Then it changed to commitment, And finally a desolate relationship Where we were together just because of Friends, family and our beautiful past. What went wrong? Who went wrong? Is it me, you or this relationship? Or the expectations we had from this relationship? ‘You…

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  • A little girl

    A little girl lives in my heart and she wants to fly… She walks, I walk; she sleeps, I sleep; She dreams and I watch her dreaming… I feed her innocence, truth & Bravery; And nurtures her with madness & wildness, Mostly, I tried to hide her from others, But then she fights for them…

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  • Watching the skies

    Watching the skies has been my favorite  pastime, From early  dawn to the late half past nine. Clouds, changing colors and  tracing varied contours with a poise Putting me in a light trance;  like a dreamer, I always close my eyes. But, today the storm clouds gathered; and, no contour they could trace Dyed the…

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  • Stranger to my heart

    I call him a painter, he painted my heart with the color of love; Or maybe, he is a writer, As he wrote lyrics for its beats. Filled silent hours of my morning, With his chuckles dissolved in mine; Walking on the cold, wet grasses alone, Suddenly, I felt his fingers’ warmth in mine. A…

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  • Have you ever witnessed a heart breaking?

    Have you ever witnessed a heart breaking? Crust of Happiness shedding off, Abysmal voids of desires leaving, Or ever seen its color changing to deep blue from romantic red…. You know it’s there, but no music, Is it still beating; I’m not sure, Once it has a list of songs playing, Today it’s all about…

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  • Nobody I am

    She was a girl, a young girl And she had names, many names. Lover, hater She was called; Selfish, innocent She was called. One day, Mutilated, afraid in her heart, she decided to run away Crossed villages, cities and reached an open plateau, Seeing her reflection in sky’s mirrors, gone were her fears Forgot her…

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  • On an autumn night

    a leaky tap dripped a drop, or an acoustic jazz, I heard on an autumn night, Frozen city lights illumined my streets, or a full moon bath I beheld on an autumn night, puff of cool breeze caressed my shy cheeks, Or a perfect kiss I felt on an autumn night, Blue moon forgot to go…

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  • Numb

    Vibrant city and moving cadavers, Smiling lips and mourning eyes, Bleeding heart in a ‘VERSACE’ chemise, Suicidal marks under a ‘CARTIER’ ticker, Yes, I smell money and hear cacophony, My faith plummets and so my chest-throb, Have resplendent gems, still a thirsty soul it is, Today, I touched myself, and finally numb it is…. Too…

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  • would you mind

    Would you mind if I borrow your dream for a night? haven’t smiled in my sleep for long… Would you mind holding my hand till dawn? these eerie figures scare me every night…. Would you mind let your chuckling stay here tonight? tired of crying with my gloomy room…. Would you mind covering my face,…

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  • Let them be kids now

      Lazy afternoon nap, I was taking at my home town. Amma was sleeping next to me, muttering the same question 100th of time, ‘when are you leaving for Delhi?’ She waits for me, coming home to sleep with her, telling her my office stories, and sharing my life with her. She counts days, rechecks…

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  • ‘Because’ you are 36-24-36’

    ‘Small, Medium, large, XL, XXL, XXL or 10, 12, 14, 16, or 22, 24’; what is it? These are not sizes of a ‘Zara Top’ you bought today or you are going to buy tomorrow or day after. But this is actually you ‘my love’. Yes, you, the pretty woman; and of course you are…

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  • Andstill you say, We need to meet once

    “We met at the railway station or a bus-stop, Or in that old church, on a Sunday Morning, Early in the morning, Late in the evening; You ran behind the bus I took, That old bus, with rusted stairs; You jumped over the back stairs, Watching me, from the back-window panes; Or we met in…

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  • Brazil – Beyond Beaches, Carnivals and Football (A day in Favela)

    ‘I have never believed in religion all my life but I believe in faith and I believe when we have nothing to give to someone, we can give him faith/hope’, Paulo told me this in his broken English, while we were walking through the streets of Rosa favela. I met Paulo in a party two…

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  • Meeting People – On the Road to Santiago

    I was absolutely exhausted after my four business meetings in last seven hours; same presentation, talking to people about nothing but business, projects, practicality and lots of money is really gruesome. But after a busy working day, if you still decide to sit in a bolted hotel room, it even makes you feel more sickening.…

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  • Road to Santiago – ‘walking alone’

    So, did you feel the budding thorns of winters on your face, in your hair and all around your neck above the blue jersey you are wearing in Shimla today evening? Well, I am feeling the same sitting thousands kilometers away from you, on this wooden bench outside the Spanish learning school in Santiago, Chile.…

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  • Writing some crap every day!

      “A writer who waits for ideal conditions under which to work will die without putting a word on paper.” – E.B. White So, I am again here to tell you that I didn’t write a single word on paper since last month. No particular reason, just looking for a right moment or right thing to pen down.…

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  • Today, I burnt a dream

    Today, I burnt a dream; And bought a morning of despair, Bartered my wings; With broken swing of a debonair, Grey is what I have; When I always sought white, Blues is what I feel; When I always passed red, There was a place; I could always go to, Today, I unlearned that road; Hurt…

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  • they know how I feel

    Fatigued little drops, resting on my roof; they know how I feel, Dry leaves kissing the drenched soil; they know how I feel, Alone in this gigantic city; with burden of memories And a black moon hanging on my white drape, they know how I feel, Left that, what was mine; Unforgiving, barbaric, heart breaking,…

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  • Smoke

    On a winter evening; smoke comes to me as a secret chum, Smoke, I make in the air; Smoke, people hate about me… Smoke of disappointment; smoke of pleasure, Smoke, who hides my past for a moment, I dare; smoke, who gives a hope to have a future, bright or not; I hardly care… Roasting…

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  • Blue-black ink

    On a sooty shelf; found an old diary, Looked for a virgin page; started writing a smoky poem., Sniffed a whiff of happiness; inhaled a cool puff of life, Saw starry nights in my smoggy room; my skin imbibed the white smoke, Page is no more virgin, pungent, blue-black ink; Dropped in..

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  • ‘February; Friendship and Feelings’

    February is about kisses, chocolates, hugs, proposes; that’s what everyone around is telling me.  Happy rose day; happy pose day! Happy propose day; happy remorse day! Hah…. So, February is love for you and I guess for everyone else. But February is nostalgic for me, every single day is full of nostalgia; nostalgia of friendship,…

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  • NO, I WOULD NOT REST IN PEACE!

    ‘RIP to the rape victim‘Are you fucking kidding me…Do you seriously think that DGRC victim will rest in peace after what has happened to her? Tell me, if you and I were there on that night of 16th December and it was one of us who would have been raped and assaulted brutally with an iron…

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  • Meeting that girl on a broken morning

    Do you remember launch of winters in New Delhi? When you like seldom shivers crossing your body, when the cold breeze doesn’t seem that freezing, when the fragrance of roasted peanuts wafting from across the streets delights your olfactory nerves, when you don’t need hot air blowers but just a cup of tea to keep…

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  • ‘love left us’ – Part 2 -‘Sacrifice in love’

    January 2012, leaned on that window pane of her tiny apartment in Mumbai, Stuti was sitting with arms hugging her folded shaky legs. A half emptied fine bottle of Smirnoff, 3 cigarettes left in that Marlboro packet, tears were flowing relentlessly, wetting her face and neck; that too since how long, she had no idea.…

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  • ‘Love left us’ – Part 1 – the very first meeting

    Lying on the bed, she was staring at the roof and it was incessantly the fourth hour. With the wings of that dirty fan, all the good-bad memories of last three years were spinning around her eyes. Three years ago, December 2009, when she was on the way to meet him the very first time.…

    Read more: ‘Love left us’ – Part 1 – the very first meeting
  • An Ode to my lost love

    Love was always ‘freedom’ to me. Free emotions, Free love, Free lives!! Friends ask me, “don’t you miss him in your life.” I don’t know or maybe I don’t realize as I have a busy life. Missing a person in your life means missing a caring heart, a few phone calls, an outlet for your…

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  • Don’t tell your daughters not to go alone; tell your sons how to behave

    ” Nazar Teri Buri Aur Parda Mein Karoon?’ ‘Don’t tell me how to dress, tell them not to rape, No, you can’t go alone there; No, you can’t wear that; no you can’t opt that job; why? ‘Because you are a girl.’ And being a girl is a crime you never chose to do. These…

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